Wanna Grab Some Coffee With Me?

This topic has been brewing in my thoughts for about a month now. My heart has been heavy and my head has even been spinning at times…can we talk about a tough topic today? Can we talk about addiction? Can we talk about something that consumes the lives of pretty much everybody? Can we talk about how this addiction effects your social life when this addiction is all about socializing?

Let’s talk about Social Media…Specifically Facebook. 

I have a couple questions that someone needs to help me out with here.

WHY does there have to be a fancy announcement when someone has decided they are stepping away from the Facebook world for awhile? WHY is it such a big deal? So many times I have seen someone post this lengthy status stating that they are deactivating their Facebook and they give a thousand and one reasons why they are making this “tough” decision. GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY, deactivate your Facebook and find a real “tough” decision in your life. Seriously, why has Facebook become that big of a deal where you have to notify everyone that you are leaving the “club”. Just silently remove yourself.

I have mentioned this question to people before and the answers I have gotten are, “well I just let everyone know so no one thinks I un-friended them.” or “I just want my out of town family to know.” or ” I just felt like everyone should know.” My response to this is call your grandma that lives 5 states away (she may appreciate the phone call anyway), not everyone really truly has to know and really if someone makes a big deal out of being “un-friended” from a social network created by a little nerdy kid then that’s their problem. I think that if someone gets upset over being possibly un-friended then that is the gist of your friendship. I think that if you socialize in person, on the phone…you know like the way it should be…then who cares if you are on facebook, off facebook,still rockin’ a Xanga or not friends with certain people on any social media. Ultimately…it doesn’t matter if you are on or off of Facebook as long as you are making a TRUE and REAL social life for yourself then hop off that computer without any fancy announcement.

Here’s another question.

WHY don’t you look at me anymore? 

Ok. We have all been in this position. When you are trying to have a conversation with someone who is staring down at their phone and going “uh huh. yup. ok” the whole time. I have personally been guilty of doing this and it makes me sick to my stomach, but I have become more and more aware of it the more it happens to me!! I have had a whole entire conversation with someone (more than one time) who stared at their phone or computer the whole entire conversation. And what were they doing? They were on Facebook! Everyone always comments about how the teenagers have their noses in their phones all the time, which is true, but most of my experiences have been with adults. I mean adult as in 40 + year olds. Yes. I am serious. These people have the opportunity to look up and have a real life conversation and they choose to stick to the fake socializing. I can’t even wrap my head around that! So think about that the  next time someone is talking to you. Are you listening? Are you looking at them? 

Next question.

WHY do you have to talk to “Bob” through your status? 

The other problem I have come across is posting your status to make a point to someone specific. PLEASE. JUST. STOP. Please stop posting a quote from Pinterest or a status that specifically has to do with “Bob” and you are just hoping “Bob” gets the point. TALK TO BOB! TALK TO BOB DIRECTLY! Tell Bob how you are offended, hurt or whatever you are! Because here is how the problem gets worse…you post a vague status…in example:

“I just wish some people would understand how to be a true friend.”

Your poor innocent grand mother comments and says, “Oh, hunny, what’s wrong?”

Your reply, “Oh nothing.” or “I can’t say on here” or  “private message me and i’ll tell you about it.”

WHAT? This now either leaves your poor grandma confused, thinking you have lost your mind or leaving her to have to figure out how in the world to send you a private message. Poor. Grandma.

Next question.

WHY are we not lifting each other up? 

The next issue is how many grown up people (again 40 + years old) I have been seeing posting gossip, hurtful things, slander and being just down right immature. People I look up to. People I respect. People my parents age!!! Most of the time I am totally SHOCKED by what some of these people post. Shocked by their open thoughts just pouring out on their keyboards for all the Facebook world to see. Commenting on peoples “pouring thoughts status'” and starting petty debates and giving each other a pat on the back!

Elders of mine, In all do respect, I am 23 years old and I see that there is a problem. Why don’t you see this problem? Be an example. To your kids, to your students, to your grand kids, to your peers, to your friends….most of all honor God in ALL that you do. Something I think about before I post a status on Facebook is…”is it helpful?” “does this put anyone down in any way?” “is this God honoring?” “Am I glorifying my God in all that i do AND say?”

PLEASE. think about these things. This goes for everyone, but unfortunately I see this problem more in the adults I am Facebook friends with than anyone else! Let’s lift each other up, not bring people down.

So there it is. My stirring thoughts for the past month. I just poured my open thoughts on my keyboard! hah! But let me tell you why…because I am tired of the social media taking over our friendships, our social life, our world!! Everyone is way too consumed in it! Go grab a coffee with someone instead of commenting on their status, go out for a girls night instead of making a group private message, go sit down with a dear friend and ask them what their status in life is, pray with a friend, encourage a friend.

Stop considering your social life a comment or a thumbs up.

So I guess my final question is…

Wanna grab some coffee with me? 🙂